A day in the life of LIFE

For the uninitiated (including yours truly), dancing as a skill might be as difficult to invoke as for a non swimmer drowning in the shallow side of the pool. But this time around, I made this brave attempt to take to the dance floor as part of a Punjabi wedding to hone my skills in the art of bodily movements. Documented from these experiences are the best practices of learning the art.

Note: The author is not responsible for any physical harm that could be caused to the reader on account of the tips outlined below. Adults are advised not to try them on their own and to carry out the steps under strict supervision from teenagers :)

Tip 1: “Sunlo, Sunlo…..”

Listen to you favourite FM station for just one hour a day.(preferably 8 p.m. to 9 p.m.) as you wade through the peak hour traffic. Knowing the latest chart busters helps coz it’s very unlikely that the DJ of 2007 would be playing a Senti Amar Prem number. Not to worry in case you missed a couple of songs owing to cell phone distractions. Just flip to the next station which would more often than not feature the same song at a different slot in ordering.

Tip 2: “Light is Right”

Wear light clothes. It can be tough (specially for beer drinkers) if you have a blazer, a tie and formal shoes while dancing, lest you want to miss out on a cool and hip dance step that needs you to do a 270 degree twist.

Tip 3: “Theme action co-relation”

Try and match the theme of the song with actions using your hands/feet. For example, if the theme is “barsaat” then signal the falling rain with your hands in the most emotive manner. In case the song to follow talks about “sardi”, motion inwards with your jacket as if you are in the process of wearing one (This one was an original from yours truly that was quite acknowledged by fellow hip shakers. Ok, yes! I did take a bow for that…)

Tip 4: “The Evergreen steps”

There are some dance steps that are as theme agnostic yet nice as the mishti doi in every Bengali home.

For example, any fast paced number could do with the step of balle balle that you see in every bhangra song. For those who watch bhangra as frequently as Virender Sehwag’s century, try this – “ The Let’s go party tonight” step by Priety and Abhi where everyone jumps in the air and actions “Out ! Out” like any cricket umpire would. Do it once with your left hand and once more with your right.

Even after this, In case your dance gyan is as low as my IQ, try the time tested clichéd one – “ try fixing the light bulb with one hand and patting your pet dog with the other”. Make sure there is no stray doggie around or you’d never be able to pat one again

Tip 5: The “Junglee” survival kit

Warning: This only works for tough numbers and may not work if the song is quite easy to perform. Wave your hands vigorously as if you are shaking off chewing gum stuck to your thumb and match it with your hair/head turning with equal speed till you see the world upside down. By then you ought to realize it’s time to stop.

Tip 6: Ragging in college

Not that I am a proponent of the activity (so don’t plan to sue me either), but after having been through some sessions, this was where I “burnt” a make shift dance floor with my outrageous steps which matched the Indian batsmen trying to evade the bouncers from the Bangladeshi Bowlers. The rest they say is history and I did not get selected for the college dance team. I had enough reasons to believe that the selection committee was biased against me


Tip 7 : Powered by Cltr C and Driven by Cltr V

Non-computer users please excuse. This is the “mantra” on which the Indian IT industry survives. If you can’t create a step, plagiarize one. Look at the most happening gal/guy in the circle and give a nod confirming that it’s a good step and what else? Start churning out the same

Tip 8 : E-learning courses

Enrol yourself into the “Doing the jig in 8 days” course which I am going to begin soon. E-learning has been the innovation of this millennium and the three top courses on my agenda would include swimming, driving and now of course, dancing version 1.0 for all novices who wish to learn the same through the internet

Tip 9: Traffic Lines

Try crossing traffic median during peak hour on an arterial road. One step back and one step front.. As you target survival, you will also learn your steps along the way.

Tip 10: The “Daru” effect.

Please be advised that I have not tried this myself and do not claim this to be a potent tool.

I am “told” (re-emphasizing this one) that two swigs of the most sought after beverage after water, can considerably improve your skills by freeing your locomotory body parts and give you a dose of the prabhu deva flexibility.

But there have been cases where hic! “dancers” have been hic!“grounded” for hic!“flying” in the air for hic! too long, so you would not want to hic!“land” in a similar situation.


A final take from my side, at the end of all this - Pick three random tips and rehearse them with a dose of Iodex or Moov in tune with the age old saying, “Prevention is better than cure”.

Till then, “Everybody on the Dance floor!!!!!!!!!”