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Sutta Baaz!



Nope it’s not the next Anil kapoor Sri devi starrer on lines of Chaal baaz!

A Sutta Baaz, as defined by the Rashtriya Hindi Shabd Kosh (also called dictionary: for those of you who dint know) is a person whose “har prograam ka main phood” is sutta.

Sutta comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. And a wide range in fact – from Mangalooru Ganesh Beedi to Raabart wala Marlboro. From the information that I have gathered, apparently sutta and cutting chai are supposed to be an unbeatable combination that is relished especially by engineering students who wish to give their breakfast a miss.

P.S.- Any description is not truly the author’s experience. It has been collected from a variety of sources. Ma! This is for your informaiton, lest you think of me as a DTM (Dari Tappida Maga – translated as the son who lost his way).

Ok. Back to the topic. Since my inception in the corporate world, (which is roughly for about three and a half years now), there is one place that has caught my attention as the most happening “adda” and that is the Smoking Zone at office also called the Cancer Club.

The criteria to join the club require you to be a connoisseur of tobacco in either active or passive mode. This is one place where you can find people across departments, hierarchy, caste, creed, color, gender(this is catching up specially outside BPOs) and all the other non-discriminatory parameters as laid down by the U.N. General Assembly.

This is the prime location where a variety of topics are discussed right from the Sensex to behind the scenes stories of office politics. What text books on Organization behavior call “Grapevine” is precisely this.

What’s more, this elite club is organization agnostic.

Overheard this morning at the Sutta Club:

1 “Kings” is lit.

Mr. B: Yaar, Bohot tension ho gayi hai
Mr. J: Kyun bhai kya hua?

J uses B’s cigarette to save a match stick for India. (Applause!!)

Mr. B: Saala 2 lakh gaye mere, Mukesh ke wajeh se?
Mr. J: Arre apna Mukesh joh humarey department main hain?

Mr. B: Nahin re, Mukesh Ambani, usne kuch Iraq mein locha kiya hai is liye bhaav gir gaya, abhi joh maine teesra flat kharida tha pichley haftey usko bechna padega. Kya naubat hai.

The rings of smoke resemble Kekule’s benzene structure! (yes, I still remember :))

Mr. J: Chal Chill maar yaar. Yeh bata, is baar Quarterly payout ki kuch khabar?
Mr. B: Kyun muh khulva raha hai? Shukar karo is baar negative mein nahin jaa raha hai

The cigarettes are half spent

Mr. J: Suna hai Mrs. K ko out of turn promotion mil raha hai?
Mr. B: Haan woh Mr. P ke team mein jaa rahi hai.
Mr. P: Meri team mein? Mujhe khud pata nahin
Mr B: Maine tumhe bataya nahin aur tumne kuch suna nahin

The cigarettes are almost dying out like the lamps at the deathbeds of the aged actors of bollywood movies(wah! Kitni filmy hai!! Nirupa Roy would be proud of me)

Mr. J: Chal woh chhod. Weekend pe kya plan hai?
Mr. B: Bohot hectic yaar. Saturday ko London mein hoon. Wahan se Paris hotey huey Wednesday ko New York mein hoon. Return flight via Dubai hai, who bhi 1 day stop over ke saath. Travel kar ke thak gaya hoon yaar. Ab dekh last trip mein around the world in 80 hours ho gaya tha. Bohot pressure hai

(Nautanki Saaley!)Me began thinking on lines of Mungeri Laal –

“Na ghooma mainey UK
Na dekha hai Amreeca.
Par shikayat, beta inki sunkey
Ghoom aaya khwabon mein poori duniya”


End of conversation.

The cigarettes that provided a medium for the conversation are crushed under the expensive “Franco Leone” shoes, which completes their 2 minutes and 37 seconds life span from the mouth to the foot.

(The butt is almost out with the last bright flicker!)

Not sure how to end this post. So let me just say, An ode to the sutta, sutta club and the sutta baaz.!

John Abraham would definitely love it...