A day in the life of LIFE

Having survived for almost 3 long years in the IT industry, (yes, 3 years in IT is equivalent to 30 in BHEL), I must say that the Indian IT industry has transformed itself with as much variety as Paresh Rawal's roles in Bollywood.

I am planning to write a comprehensive blog post on the "IT Survival Tool Kit" commemorating my third anniversay in the industry which is due shortly.

You may be pleased to know that Aaj Tak has already bought rights to screen the entire celebration "live" from my 2x2 cubicle that more resembles a packed sardine tin can.

There are some aspects that do not change irrespective of the organisation that you are in including white collared bonded labor, highly exoctic canteen food that is often cribbed about, overhyped "mission critical" coders who are held in high regard next to Spiderman in the context of saving the day, and but of course the insatiable paychecks that are always just enough to cater to 30 days of living.

Of late, in fact, just yesterday, I learnt the Golden rule for IT survival - English Grammar. Yes, kudos to Wren and Martin for all those tongue twisting grammar tenses and whimsical grammar rules that end up confusing even the Queen of England at times..

Ah! Coming back to the Golden rule. Just as "Har snack namkeen nahin hota", this rule with the twist is the best IT can get.

POSTULATE :

Never use the first person prepositions "I", "We", "Me", "us", "Myself" etc.... in any conversation that has to deal with the obituary of a project that you are part of.


PM: "Team, the client is furious. The project is running 6 months behind schedule. Who is responsible?"
TM 1: " They gave us the code for testing a month after is was due"
TM 2: " They gave us the specs. that were revised as frequently as a baby's diapers"
TM 3: " They told us that the functionality should remain as they desired"
TL : " They were not only told about the project plan by them, but they ended up changing it mid way too"
Quality: " They prepared the plan based on the estimate they provided"
Onsite Co-ordinator: " They messed it up"
PM,(facing the customer): "They were not given the test cases that suited their reqirement. But they are doing their best to do their tasks right,they will work 16 hrs a day and they will work on weekends, free of cost, though they are not a party to this task that was completed by them"
Customer: Who are "they"?
Everyone: SILENCE.
Customer: Let "them" perform a root cause analysis before "they" continue with "their" project. And let "them" be paid for fixing "their" folly that resulted in "their" mess in "this" project

Welcome to the Land of Mouse movers, Just do IT!! Hey Ganpat! Java la....