A day in the life of LIFE

Okie. I know that! You don’t need to rub it in. My mom always considered me a slow learner, which explains why I begin my lunch when The Indian team begins their innings and continues till Sreeshant is done with his on-the-field break dance. This is also why I could never differentiate between a break dance and a disco dance apart from the fact that Michael Jackson and Mithun da were exponents of the same in that order.

I have been slow in putting up this blog on the much awaited “talk of Bollywood”! But after a bumpy and hectic week at work, am finally blogging about this “Hot” topic akin to the late arrival of the Hindi movie Police. Thankfully am also not so late in the cycle else I may have had to write about Manoj Kumar’s Mother India, so I guess it’s fine.

Now, back to the point. Open any management text book and you will find a dedicated chapter on mergers and acquisitions. ( My gyan on management is limited to my roomie who happens to be in Human Capital Management, otherwise referred to as “HR” in most organizations). There have always been M&As in Bollywood – the most famous being Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh, AK and TK (Akshay and Twinkle) , the legendary AB and JB ( go drown yourself if you could not get this expansion), Anil and Sridevi (Dewar- Bhabhi relationship :( ) and the latest being Ash and Little B. After having been scorned by KK ( K Kapoor) for being a flop actor, Little B has grown by leaps and bounds to fit into the shoes of Big B. But now, after the latest merger in the greater good of Bollywood, Little B to Aish karenge. *wink*

Media sensationalism is at an all time high and the entire Page 15 of the TOI was dedicated to this “happy” news in Bollywood. News snippets ranged from the Ash’s Lehenga, to the number of sarees purchased, the prices of the same, and most importantly the muhurat of the wedding. Ash’s father in law (guess who) was quoted saying “ The children have decided, and I am happy”. But, in one corner of the page, a small 4 cm x 4 cm frame also spoke of the alarming levels of pollution in the Ganges of Allahabad, with due focus on Environmental responsibility.

I switched on the T.V. only to find one news channel proclaim – “Breaking News”.

Studio: Swati, ab aap kahan pe hai?
Reporter: Sumit, hum yahan Khandala ke jungle mein hai.

Studio: Lekin aap ko Toronto mein ya Big B ke ghar ke paas rehna chahiye
Reporter: Haan Sumit, lekin hum is waqt us jagah pe hai jahan maana jaata hai ki Little B Ash sey pehli baar miley they.

Studio: This is breaking news! Again, hum aap ke liye laa rahe hein exclusive pictures khandala ke jungle sey. Swati, aur kuch khabar wahan sey?
Reporter: Chaliye baat kartey hai Sukhi Ram sey, jo yahan ke kheto mein kaam kartey hai. 80 baras ke Sukhi Ram, ek who lauta shaks hai jinhone Little B aurAsh ko ek saath dekha tha. Sukhi Ram aap ko is waqt kaisa lag raha hai?

Sukhi Ram: Humko kaunu pata naahin. Hum apney hal chalarahey they, ee sab kuch ho gaya. Humka maaf kardo sarkaar!

Reporter: Sukhi Ram daro mat! Puri duniya aap ko is waqt dekh sakti hai. Kya aap ney Abhishek aur Aishwarya ko saath dekha tha ya nahin?
Sukhi Ram: Humka chchod do sarkar. Hum sarpanch ji ko keh diya hoon, paanch saal purani baton ko kyon phir se daura rahe hain?
Reporter: This is breaking news. Is ka matlab, yeh sab kuch 5 saal se chal raha hai. Sumit I cannot believe this! Hindustan ko yeh jaan ne ka haq tha is ke baren mein lekin Sarpanch ne mana kiya tha Sukhi Ram ko. Hum isko yahin pe nahin choddenge.

Studio: Is waqt humarey saath hai Jyotshi Shri Batuk Maharaj, jo batayenge ki yeh baat duniya se ab tak gupt kyon rahi?
Maharaj: Shani ki drishti vakr hone sey shayaad yeh bat dab gayi ho parantu yeh var aur kanya ke liye bahut achchi baat hai

Sukhi Ram (breaking down): Theek hai Memsaab! Hum apna galti maan letey hoon. 5 saal pehley Kishan Ram key bhaise – Abhishek aur Aishwarya ko mein chala raha tha. Ek din bin bataye bhaise chal padi. Is mein humra kaunu galti nahin hai mem sahib!
Reporter: Sumit, itni badi baat police se chupayi gayi, is ke liye hum media key taraf se Sukhi Ram ke khilaf muqudma karayenge! Kishan Ram ko insaaf milke rahega!

Studio: Darshakon se request hai ki woh kahin na jaaye, kuch hi pal mein haazir honge, ek special programme ke saath - Kissa Kishan Ram ke Bhaiso ka – Aakhir kahan gaye Abhishek aur Aishwarya?

Welcome to the land where Nithari has become a tourist attraction,
It happens only in India!!