A day in the life of LIFE

The Hype is back…with the percentage season setting in, the stock market is not the only place where you would find numbers being thrown around.

The Media sensationalism is back with most news channels interviewing principals and “children” in the reporter’s lingo. [most of the blokes look like overgrown giants unless of course Oxford dictionary has gone ahead and redefined the definition of children] of top schools and asking them what they feel about the results and though the sensex seems to be plummeting the net marks scored are only on the rise. 487 out of 500, gloats one student. And the reporter is quick to ask him, “kya aap ney socha tha ki aap ko itney marks aayengey?” and the “dude” replies “ haan lekin mein ney 487.2745 expect kiya tha pata nahin baaki .2745marks kahan gaye…


Rep: So how do you feel now?
Stud'dud: [adjusting his spectacles that more resembled the concave mirrors with refractive indices much greater than 1] Well, I am satisfied but not happy. I just want to repeat the boards so as to obtain 501/500.

Rep: Is that not absurd? I mean even if you repeat the boards, you cant get 501/500
Stud'dud: So what, 11 out of 10 people don’t understand fractions

Rep: now confused : What would you like to say to the people who helped you?
Stud'dud: Well, I would like to thank my mausi, chacha, nana, bunty, cheeku and last but not the least, special mention of the oodles of Pepsi that Mallika had with me which coupled with Apsara platinum pencils and Dodla dairy flavoured milk are the secrets of my success..

Rep: MALLIKA!!? did she have a cool drink with you? By the way, Doesn’t Mallika endorse 7 Up?
Stud'dud: Oh! No. I am talking of Mallika, my neighbor who prepared for the boards with me and helped me through the night, every night for months before the boards.

Rep: Nidhi, the mood of the students is pretty somber..our children study so much but still are disheartened that they missed out on thirteen marks,... Nidhi?
The Studio: Well, Juhi, we hear crackers in the background.. Are these jubiliant relatives of other successful and satisfied students?
Rep: No Nidhi, This is actually the rally of one of the political parties who have advanced their poll campaign to gel with the “feel good” factor of the CBSE students and their parents as a fallout of the good results.

Studio: Nidhi is lost for words…Well would you please get the response of a couple of other “children” near you?
Rep: Okay Nidhi. [turning to one of the other students]…Aap ko kaisa lag raha hai?
Stud'dud 2: “Arjun Singh hai hai… Hamari maangey poori karo”
Rep: [now totally stumped] Nidhi this is breaking news..Arjun Singh must have introduced reservations in CBSE schools too, can you ask the correspondent at the Parliament House to bring in the information?
Stud'dud 2: you’ve got the wrong person ma’m,I am a doctor from AIIMS. I am a student too…I am here on a mission to educate the school children that their marks are of no use for future endeavors…”Arjun Singh hai hai”…

Rep: [Juhi who is lost for words]… Nidhi, as you can see, the results have evoked mixed reaction from parents and students alike and the trend of getting maximum totals is going to continue on the lines of cricket records being broken. It’s MS Dhoni season after all..

Nidhi: Well that was Juhi there, reporting live from the scene of the action and we would like to remind our viewers that tonight we will be focusing on the causes that are responsible for students not getting centums in subjects. And whether the solution to the same is to have affirmative action in that the teachers of the respective schools [even better if we have the class teachers ]correcting their own students’ papers and then we shall ensure a non-centum free India.. So don’t forget to tune in at 9:30 p.m. tonight…on ....[Ashu pitching in]: India Doesn't Matter....[atleast about centums affecting the Indian economy]

Ashu: Are Examinations meant to cause Paralysis of Analysis? Point to Ponder…