A day in the life of LIFE

Okay!. Now where was I. Ah, yes…I got into the compartment only to discover that I was allocated a side upper, and this was almost equivalent to forcing a camel to enter an ant hill.(pardon the bad analogy!).Dad always told me not to look the gift horse in the mouth. All animal crackers apart, I was a little envious of the passengers who would enjoy their sleep on the “usual” berths.

Just then, a “boy” [used in the same analogy of the "child in the previous post here] appeared out of nowhere, with some heavy metal playing so loudly that even Professor Calculus (of Tintin fame) would be startled out of his slumber. The “boy” was vertically challenged [ should be just about 5.1 ft] but horizontally followed Charle’s law [Courtesy: Physical chemisty Class XI].

I requested the dude if he could swap his berth with mine for which he flatly refused.
Some courtesy, I thought! Meanwhile I turned my sight to a visibly “drunk” co-passenger uncle who was in pajamas and a white kurta and was making as many arrangements to get to sleep as if he were on a journey from Kashmir to Kanyakumari for the next 50 odd hours.

As everyone settled down in their berths, one person pointed to an unclaimed handbag that had been lying on a vacant berth for quite some time. Specially in the light of the recent train of events, the situation we had on our hands (George Bush lingo) was not to be taken lightly.

The RPF official soon swooped down, armed with an AK 47 raising quite a few brows around. It almost was a real life operation and it was not like the way it’s shown on TV. The bag was right behind me and God knew what it contained. Everyone expected the train to be halted and an IBN crew to arrive any moment and the 6221 would soon turn into the “Super Express” as in the famed movie “Burning Train”!

It was not funny at all, but I was still reminded of the serial “How I met your Mother” , where one of the episodes had Barney placing dummy suitcases on the conveyer belt to pose as tourists in the prospect of befriending fellow passengers of the fairer sex.

The hapless Railway attendant was summoned for interrogation if he had seen anything happening. The guy was scared out of his wits and thought he was being accused of the probable crime. He was asked to check if it belonged to any of the motormen. By now the panic factor started gripping everyone even as the cold conditioned air made us freeze.

One of passengers suggested we throw the bag out of the train. But what if it exploded on the track??

The TT was soon summoned to check if he owned the bag. When both responses turned out to be negative, the RPF office took great courage and tried opening the bag. The outer flap was opened. It had layered zips beneath. The first zip was opened with utmost care and lo behold! It was empty. But the bag was heavy and definitely had something in it. The second zip was being opened even as sweat dripped off many foreheads. And as the zip clicked open, “BOOM!” a bomb! thought everyone, only to realize that it was the long horn of the engine coupled with some track turbulence which had resulted in the toilet door in banging against the frame, with the loud bang.

As the bag was dug into, a couple of neatly pressed shirts came out..
A placebo! One of them commented…Next came an envelope..It must definitely have some design and maps, a passenger muttered. And what came out was currency of around 5000 Indian rupees. My My! 5k was his reward!!! Exclaimed one..

And to the sheer surprise of everyone, what accompanied the envelope was a letter addressed to a local blood bank and this was when all of thought this was actually not what we all imagined it to be.

A couple of passengers were asked to sign as witnesses for the amount found in the bag, lest the RPF be accused of devouring the cash. It was decided that the bag be handed over to the unclaimed baggage section in the next station.

Everyone left the coach at around 12:45..a.m. with no conclusion.

Meanwhile I was left with my side upper berth which was almost inconsequential now. Nonetheless there was a “smart” lady who had got in at Cantonment and apparently had been allotted the regular upper berth atop the drunken uncle in pajamahs. Now this was a task for “Superman”, I muttered and rushed to offer a swap which she readily agreed to. As I gleefully acknowledged the “Dumb Blonde” theory, I realized that I had obtained a raw bargain. The smart ”blonde” had given me a berth that was just above the entrance of the AC compartment and had three a/c blowers adjacent to it, emulating the atmosphere in the “Abirami Snow World” in Chennai.(Yes, in Chennai now-a-days, the rains are free but snow is still to be bought)

As I dreamt about anything other than the polar bear, I faintly heard some noises around me. Apparently they had found the owner of the bag in one of the other compartments and the attendant came to wake up the witnesses to testify the co-ordinates of the bag. There were some words flying here and there about the man “forgetting” his luggage and all that. But the RPF officer announced that the issue was resolved and he would tell us the details next morning. But we never got to listen to the details.

With teeth chattering, the drunk uncle snoring, the adventure still ringing, and with the door banging into my feet jutting out of the berth, It was almost day break by the time I could catch some sleep.

The last straw on the camel’s (my) back was the arrival of the 6221 an hour before schedule which had a probability of 1/2756984. To top it all, I had developed a heavy cold and have been coughing all week and am pampering myself with “Sud Tanni” (Hot water) as part of my daily menu.!! Achchooo!!