A day in the life of LIFE

Lord Rama returned to Ayodhya to a tearful welcome from his people with lamps in their palms, and this is what we celebrate as Deepavali..I remember Grandma once saying.

But King Gyanendra wouldn't even have the faintest idea of what I was talking about, since the reception that he is presently getting from his own people is much worse than the animosity between the warring tribes of Zulu land.

The images flashed on Nepal television of the King with his myriad plumage was quite comical. He looked like a caged peacock ordering the onlookers to view him with respect and dignity. The King snatched away power from the previous monarch like me pinching a chocolate bar from my 2 year old nephew. But it had not been that simple..Some views from the Himalayan kingdom opined he murdered his blood relatives to assume power.

Rajdeep Sardesai was all excited yesterday about the developments in Nepal. He almost jumped around in his red leather chair just like the reaction of Jobey, the fruit juice shop owner across the road with the onset of summer in anticipation of prospective customers.

Rajdeep tried connecting with Kunda Dixit..(no, not a relative of mine) the editor of the Nepali Times but each time the link was disconnected. Rajdeep looked like a man who was standing in the front of the queue but was told that service would begin from the other end....

He repeated his questions..."What is the atmosphere out there? Do you think India got it wrong, terribly wrong in Nepal" a hundred times, only to listen to sounds of a 1939 propeller plane like Krrrrrrr.....Treeeenn....Bzzzzz... Krrrrrr.... and then sheepishly cracked a joke that the current political stand off between New Delhi and Kathmandu resembled the poor connectivity.

Thank goodness. stealing chocolate bars is easier...

I still remember when Rajdeep was part of NDTV (Star News then)when he was directly interviewing the dreaded underworld don, Chotta Rajan. I am a great fan of IBN, but the manner in which Rajdeep was muttering j-j-ji kahiye j-j-ji out of mortal fear, resembled Anu Malik's latest composition.

Talking of gangsters and murder, the scene back home is not different either...Pramod Mahajan is still in hospital. It has been a sad turn of events, but in the meantime the Media is let loose and a plethora of people from his doodh wala to his neighbor 10 blocks away have been interviewed by news channels and they are clueless about Pravin's motive. Each channel seems to gloat about the fact that they have the actual details and were the first to get the FIR copy...In fact, it is rumored that the Commissioner of Police is switching on the television to get a hang of things.

Amidst all this Mr. Mahajan's liver has been zoomed in 1000 x times with expert doctors from Jhumritalaiyya explaining the difference between the liver on the screen and those of Extra Terrestrial Martians. I would advise all class VI students to chuck their error laden Science text books and watch the 9 o' clock news instead. the Visual diarrhoea would atleast help in remembering details to the micron level....

The question in the exam paper would read: Draw a neatly labelled diagram of Mr. Mahajan's liver and explain the course of events leading up to the shooting?

Yes, the labelled parts would include bonus marks for clearly marking the three areas through which the bullets passed. And at the end of it you clear your Biology exam and also get a bonus degree in Media Sensationalism.

Away from media limelight, research on why the Medu Vadaa in Saravana Bhavan has 0.0008 g of soda less than those available in Shanti Sagar is being carried out by some senior Scientists and it's not going to be long when the two vadaas will be placed beside each other, focussed during prime time discussions, viewer sms es invited on the taste and viscocity of the vadaas, Dr. Baatliwala reeling out information on similar experiments in suburban Velacherry, all kinds of meaningless percentages being thrown up, and at the end of it all arriving at a conclusion that it was the "baahar ki haath" or terrorists from across the border who were responsible for the sabotage.

Till such time, let me ask these news channel guys what the weather is going to be like. That should keep me busy for quite sometime...