A day in the life of LIFE

Sarojini Nagar – One of the most inseparable places of the city of Delhi,whether you are looking to pick up hair pins, key chains, designer outfits or a bottle of Himesh Reshmiya’s nasal spray – you get everything under one roof.

And the market had the honor of playing host to none other than yours truly, who could find nothing more interesting to do on a Sunday afternoon than accompanying mom who is vacationing in Delhi,to select various paraphernalia from dress materials to ear rings for Laloo’s latest kid, which could well go into making of the next Mission Impossible sequel.

Jokes apart, it took quite some time for us to reach the place owing to the new year traffic, much akin to the airtel network congestion that happens well before midnight.

As we entered the market, a mob of hawkers descended and it dawned on us to don the DON looks so as to evade the paparazzi. A relatively peaceful lane awaited us, with fragrance of “dhoop” emanating from the motley shops that filled up the street, (though they failed to keep the flies away) while cries of “Sau ka doh, Sau ka doh” reverberated in the background. Amidst all this, a bicycle rider whizzed past us, like the artiste in the Royal Russian Circus. As we approached a junction, 2.5 centimeters wider than the lane that we were just in, a splendor motorbike came to a screeching halt and nearly rammed into the “Moomphali wala” who had decided that shops on either side could use his services to fragment the shopping happy crowd, in order to facilitate prospective customer distribution.

Did I forget to mention that Dad was there too? But he was more like the non playing Davis Cup captain, who was there to certify whatever Mom had selected. Dad is also in the process of developing the quality standard for certification, but the guidelines are much simpler unlike ISO. The fail proof Golden Rule for survival, Dad tells me is : “Never tell a woman her choice is bad. Tell her that while the current selection is excellent, the one with the higher price tag goes well with the theme of the next occasion she is going to put the choice to test, be it a dress, ear rings, footwear or even the crockery on the table”

As mom entered the 22nd shop in series, (or was it the 25th ?), dad and I signed a secret pact to alternately accompany mom to shops in intervals of 5. As I waited on them, I managed to find myself a bench right in between two hawkers selling myriad accessories, and the bench seemed like a bus stop in the middle of a National Highway. I was surprised to see the variety in the crowds that thronged the place.

Just beside me was a MPTGH (Mein Poora thak gaya hoon) Bengali husband munching on some pop corn, just as his enthusiastic wife shouted from across the street, “ theek lagbe? 475 bolshish, ami 450 bolbo.”. (any linguistic mistakes, kindly excuse!). The husband replied with a facial expression that implied, “Do as you please”,and that was it!. He had incurred the wrath of the President of the Rashtriya Mahila Vikas Parishad.

I did not see the dude again!

A couple of Nagarjuna fans came by, as they were dressed in yellow shirts and red pants, and just as they mumbled to each other in Telugu, they did manage some Hyderabadi Hindi which got a chaste UP ite response from the vendor, half of which was inaudible owing to the Banarsi Pan that he chewed even as he said “Phipty Phive bhonly” with great difficulty. I had enough reasons to believe that the deal was lost due to lack of an interpreter though both parties had finalized a mutually acceptable price.

The Pan brought with it, an invisible spittoon, since everyone but me, was found spitting right in the middle of the road, which otherwise had just enough space to walk on. A husky “gentleman” occupied the seat adjacent to mine, who initiated a chat with the hawker in front, and they discussed about the “maal” that ranged from Chinese Pencil Batteries to fancy make up kits.

P.S. - Two things, I’ve learnt thus far in hindi slang – “ Anything fried in oil qualifies as Pakodi/da, and never address a girl as “behenji” however reverent you may feel about her” (VM, thanks for the tip)

Sorry for digressing, next came a cool dude who looked like an extra in a David Dhawan movie (referred to as Upma Kaapi in South Indian movies). But I actually liked the line on his T shirt which said, “I have an ATM right @ home: DAD”

The sea of humanity was there to be seen… Weird hairstyles, different nationalities, cacophony of voices, and equally enthusiastic shoppers!! I did a little bit of exploration to help myself to a “Saarvajanik Suvidha” which was extremely well maintained for a public restroom – Glazed walls, shiny unbroken mirrors, and even the local FM broadcast that had Kay Kay singing to me, the hit song, “Yeh duniya Oot Patanga….". But I wonder why the Dettol soap container had local liquid soap in it..

Meanwhile mom had selected a pattern that had qualified into the top 100 of the year list and I was called in to approve the same. I gave my expert opinion that had as much value as Jennifer Lopez’s comments on Raag Kalyani.

The pattern on the dress passed the following four tests:

The lights on/off test
The “Does this color match the one I bought last year on April 21 for Munnu’s wedding” test
The Price Bargain Test
Dad’s Patience Test

This was just the beginning and we finally followed the same protocol to buy enough to call in Blue Line Packers for Door to Door Delivery.

Dad was energized to carry on for another hour with some kadak elaichi chai that blended perfectly with the descending layers of fog that threatened to reduce visibility, but the determined shoppers had their way, even with mother nature!

Back home, as Mom examines, re-examines and convinces herself that she got a good deal on all the stuff that we picked up, I am writing this blog, on New year’s eve, with some melodious singing in the neighborhood from talented people as gifted as Santo Ji in the movie Kal Ho Na Ho.. Wait a minute…no it cannot be this bad…That is my favourite song from “Kabul Express”, being "melodiously" crooned and the accompaniment in the background is a , HARMONIUM!!????@@##

Happy New Year everyone! Mujhe apney haal pe chchod do!
Cheers and drive back safe!! 2007 needs you :)

Pic: Depicting the colors in one of the shops.

Pic: A crowded street in Sarojini Market